Brazilian Boa

In America, the land of Obesity, grocery stores have come accustom to stockpiling Snickers, Tic Tacs, and Zebra Striped Gum in front of the check out so that every menstruating woman, onion eating man, and spoiled child can fulfill their candy whims for a mere dollar. In Brazil, land of eroticism according to my 82 year old great uncle, grocery stores have come accustom to stockpiling a different novelty item at the checkout.

While in Brazil I went to a grocery store with my cousins, and after filling our baskets full of Brazilian wine, coffee, and Portuguese versions of Oreos and hard lemonade, we were waiting in the checkout line when we saw them. There were several packages of various colors and apparently flavors, though we couldn’t translate, but the name of the product was “BOA”.

“What are these? Is it candy?” Julie and I picked up the package and started feeling the contents inside in order to determine the unidentified object. I started to sense the sideways glances of store clerks and customers when I saw a little sticker next to the items on the shelf. On the sticker was the icon of two people holding hands with rainbows across their genital regions. Likewise, the sticker adjacent to the first was the icon of one man and one woman labeled indiscreetly with stars.

“Oh, here’s where they keep the condoms. I’m glad I found them.” I bought two for good measure. (Ya never know when you’ll need to constrict your BOA. Ha! Ha! Ok, bad joke.)

They made for great souvenirs.