Transportation in Modern Day Egypt

       When I was a child we had a junk drawer conveniently located between the fridge and the stove. Though it wasn't intended to be used as a junk drawer it still collected the odds and ends that didn't necessarily have a home. This drawer could at one time contain nails, birthday candles, buttons, batteries, ketchup packets, water balloons, inkless pens, and the nail clippers that could never actually be found when most needed. The Egyptian transportation system as a whole is this junk drawer.

Taxis, cars, buses, motorcycles, camels, and cats weave in and out at unsettling speeds with a possible pause for some brave soul jaunting across the street, playing Frogger. Taxi drivers slam on their brakes, honk, and try to hail the pedestrians hoping they can find some tourist to overcharge. BMWs, Jaguars, and Mercedes speed around condescendingly honking their horns and tailgating. The buses are overcrowded and have men hanging out the doors barely hitting the perched motorcyclists practically making love to their bikes as they swerve over bumps and past traffic jams. I've seen donkeys hauling around a flat trailer of fruit and toddlers coming within inches of being destroyed by impatient drivers. I've seen a body in the middle of a six lane highway, defended only by a line of people standing there trying to diverge the traffic from their hurting friend. I've seen cars driving the wrong way down the highway to avoid a roundabout. Overall, it’s like Allah threw up civilization all over the street.

In Egypt I experienced enough problems with the transportation system to want to return to the states forever. One afternoon I took a bus downtown, and in the time period of the bus ride I learned the intricate details of Helen's life story and she learned about mine, then we took a nap, woke up, developed a new language, sipped a cocktail, and invented the cotton gin, then we arrived at our destination.

In order to return to campus we called an Arabic speaking Jordinian to talk to the directionless cab driver we finally flagged down. Though better than the cabby that drove us in to the desert and demanded money or he'd leave me there, this creep drove us in circles blaring Arabic techno music and smoking. We finally made it back to the university, but only after we were charged twice what we should have been.

I have called bus companies, chased after busses, been left in the middle of a random street, stumbled upon a missing driver that was sleeping in the back seat, argued prices, and sat within a menagerie dusty Tchotchkies that decorated the bus like some sort of carnie explosion. The transportation of Egypt is a beautiful, cultural clusterfuck that never ceases to amaze. It’s like, "Mom, do you know where a rubber band is?" "Check the junk drawer. Is it there?" "No, but I found a green cheeto and the toe ring I lost when I was 7." There are no schedules, no plans, no backup system, no phone numbers, no stop lights, no road signs, and no rules.  Did I mention I saw a cow inside a van and camels in the back of a pickup ready for slaughter? How about the taxis with 84 bags piled on top, secured with one piece of fishing line? It is just a big, crazy mess that one can attempt to clean up, but like a junk drawer will always show up again.